1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,870 So you're her, are you? You're the whore. "Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallace". 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,950 Well that's a gob-full, for someone who only weighs 6lbs 3oz. 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,350 You can't call a baby that! 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,510 What've they called it? 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,190 Calamity Jane. 6 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,990 I was so delighted when you told me you'd booked this place. 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,270 And then you go and book two separate rooms. 8 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,430 That bungalow we went to see when I said we were just looking... 9 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,350 We've put in an offer. 10 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,560 Maurice is dead. 11 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,310 Greg! Kate! 12 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,110 Have you slept together? (BOTH) No! 13 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,270 Are you dumping me? 14 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,960 I don't think anything ever really started, did it? 15 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,310 Will you marry me? Again? 16 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,360 Go on, then. 17 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,270 Yeah! Yes! 18 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,440 VIOLIN MUSIC 19 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,800 BIRDSONG 20 00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,150 Are you absolutely sure you need all this stuff? Yes. 21 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,830 You'll only have it all to cart back again at the end of term. And? 22 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:05,910 Are you nearly ready? 23 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,470 Yeah! I've just got one more bag upstairs. 24 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,400 Nip round and tell Granny William's going. 25 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,230 Have you had the divorce papers in the post? 26 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,470 Yes. Have you signed them? 27 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,030 Yes. 28 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,150 Did you send them back by registered post? 29 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,550 I sent them back. 30 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,710 By registered post? 31 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,430 It said specifically to return them by registered post. 32 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,950 Oh for f...! I have saved you thousands of pounds in lawyers' fees 33 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,670 by organising this online. 34 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,110 The very least you could do is... 35 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,240 Got it! 36 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,040 They're going! Ey up, Alan! They're going! 37 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,390 Ring me when you get there. 38 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,950 Only if you want to, only if you're not busy. Or drop me a text. 39 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,110 I'll ring you. I wish I could come with you. 40 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,080 You've got a school to run! 41 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:05,480 I am proud of you. 42 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,750 I'm proud of you. 43 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,270 WAY-HEY! Finally, we get rid of him! 44 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,110 Why does he exist? Beano boy. Yeah, special needs. 45 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,350 Stop it. 46 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,950 The concert party's arrived! Just in time! 47 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,390 How long does it take to drive to Oxford? 48 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,070 Three or four hours, I would think. 49 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,990 Nah! Foot down, two-and-a-half. 50 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,070 Please drive properly. 51 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,470 Good luck, lad! Work hard. Enjoy yourself. 52 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,720 Thanks, Grandad. 53 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,350 See ya, Gran. 54 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,750 Aww! Here, get your washing done regularly. 55 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,510 Girls like boys with clean underwear, 56 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,590 don't let anyone tell you different. 57 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,470 Do I get a twencer, Gran? 58 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,600 Yeah! When you get in at Oxford. 59 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,590 ENGINE STARTS 60 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,120 Bye! Bye! 61 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,310 I need a poo. 62 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,280 Ooh! That egg'll be boiling. 63 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,920 You all right, love? 64 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,870 Yeah. 65 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,670 I was, um... 66 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:17,920 Big day. 67 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,910 Me and Alan are off over to Ripponden today. 68 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,030 We said we'd help out with the baby. 69 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,990 Still back and forth. 70 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,470 It's a shame that bungalow fell through. 71 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,750 How're the wedding plans going? 72 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,270 Oh, we never seem to get any closer. 73 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,870 Why? 74 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:48,910 Well, for one reason, he's gone and invited Ted. His brother. 75 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,390 I didn't know Alan had a brother. 76 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,950 Yeah. Ted. He was two years above us. 77 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,710 Right. 78 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,670 So, what's wrong with Ted coming? 79 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,030 He's in New Zealand. 80 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,150 He's got five kids and they're all married 81 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,470 and they've got 13 grandchildren between them, 82 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,390 and, God knows why, but, 83 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:11,350 because they've never met Alan, they all want to come over. 84 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,640 Oh, gosh. So...? 85 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,790 Well, we weren't planning on having that big a venue, really. 86 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,470 But now it's all become a logistical nightmare. 87 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,070 How? 88 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,350 Oh, well, it has. 89 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,470 How? 90 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,400 One of them's a vegetarian. 91 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,590 Well, that's not insurmountable, is it, as problems go? 92 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,230 Oh, it's all... "where are they staying?" 93 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,430 and God knows what, and "will they all get a flight at the same time?" 94 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,910 Right. 95 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,710 You see, this is why we just wanted to do it all on the quiet. 96 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,200 Well, you did. And then you decided to do this. 97 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,520 Have y'had any more inquiries? 98 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,800 No, not this week. 99 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,950 She's done, can you take her? I've not brushed my teeth. 100 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,470 I'm making you a sandwich. 101 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,800 Yeah, but she needs to get her wind up. 102 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,630 Ugh! Have you not done her nappy? 103 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:34,750 Yeah. She hasn't...? 104 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,790 I think she has. 105 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,630 Is there any tea left in that pot? 106 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,390 Yeah, probably, if you squeeze it! 107 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,510 Mum, can you take Calamity? She needs burping. 108 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,870 You're going to be late. 109 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:45,960 Yeah, I do know! 110 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,950 You don't want to be missing the bus, not this morning. 111 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,910 I can't drive you, I'm taking hogs to t'livestock mar... 112 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,670 Has she...? 113 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,000 Yeah, sorry. 114 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:03,240 Calamity, is there no end to your shining wealth of talents? 115 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,670 Ey, Mum. What? 116 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,310 It's been a month. It's a month today since Ellie moved in. 117 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,790 You said you'd make a decision. 118 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,670 Yeah. 119 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,040 So? 120 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,920 Yeah. 121 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,870 Yeah. As long Yvonne doesn't stop slinging me the cash every week 122 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,950 for her housekeeping. 123 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,870 So you're happy. 124 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,630 Well, happy's pushing it, but, yeah. 125 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,710 As long as she keeps pulling her weight. She will. 126 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,280 Is she happy? With everything? 127 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,080 She'd rather be here than with her mother. 128 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,190 Oh, and we won't be in for us teas tonight, 129 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,590 me, Ellie and Calamity. 130 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,040 Robbie's invited us down to his. 131 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,670 Cheryl's cooking. 132 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,000 Right. Is she? 133 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,440 She's moving in with him, apparently. 134 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:02,720 Right. 135 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,150 KNOCKING 136 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,720 Sorry. Hello. 137 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,950 Beverley said you might have a few minutes. 138 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,440 I can come back later. No. No. Come in. 139 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,040 Sure. 140 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,400 OK. Well... 141 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,600 Amazingly, I'm pregnant. 142 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,880 It was 12 weeks on Saturday. 143 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,920 So... I'm cautiously starting to think about the future. 144 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,680 And, what I'd like to do, if nothing... 145 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,590 ..is work up until next Easter. 146 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,950 Then, ideally, if it's possible, 147 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,790 if it's something you can accommodate, 148 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,150 I'd like to come back part-time. 149 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,510 This time next year. 150 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,550 Autumn term. 151 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,550 Right. 152 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,310 How possible is that? 153 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,990 I know you've always been very good in the past 154 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,830 with women who've left to start families 155 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,040 and then wanted to go part-time. 156 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,110 You'll have to leave it with me. 157 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,470 If what you're really thinking is, "You'll be lucky", I'd rather you just said. 158 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,840 I hope you know me better than that. 159 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,960 I just need time to work out the logistics, that's all. 160 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,120 Sorry. 161 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,520 OK. 162 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,520 Thank you. 163 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,550 Congratulations. 164 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,680 Thank you. Thanks. 165 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,190 You're too late, you've missed her! Who? 166 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:55,230 Calamity! Harry's been and fetched her. You all right? 167 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,990 Yeah! Very fair. 168 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,990 Hi, Celia. Are you all right, love? 169 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,040 Not so bad. 170 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,110 Where is she? 171 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,030 With Harry. He wants you to text him. 172 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,030 He's got summat he wants to show you, he said, 173 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,430 down by t'wharf in Sowerby Bridge. 174 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,150 Is that where he's taken the baby? Well, I'm assuming. 175 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,470 What's he wanting to show us? 176 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,910 I have no idea, but he seemed very excited. 177 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,510 That's sounds ominous. 178 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:18,710 Down by t'wharf? Yup. 179 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,870 What is there down at t'wharf? 180 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:25,310 Water? Ducks? Geese? Industrial waste? 181 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,910 Are we setting straight off, then? 182 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,590 Make yourself a cup o' tea if you want to. I've got to get to Otley. 183 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,470 I'll just use the bathroom, if that's... 184 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:32,520 Right. OK. 185 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,670 Are you...? Keeping fit? 186 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,390 Yeah! Yeah, I think so. 187 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,630 Have you not got a date sorted yet? 188 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:48,910 Oh, have we buggery. 189 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,310 Only Ted Skyped again last night. They're all itching to book flights. 190 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,480 It's her sister. 191 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,110 Has Celia got a sister? 192 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,430 Muriel. She were in t'year below us at grammar school. 193 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,590 She lives in Sheffield. 194 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,430 So, what's up wi' Muriel? 195 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,870 Celia seems to have a very... What? 196 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,070 ..ambivalent relationship with her. 197 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,750 Right. How come? 198 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,070 I've no idea. We don't go there. 199 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,230 Upshot is, she can't decide whether she wants her at t'wedding or not. 200 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,670 Right. 201 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,110 Whereas I can't wait to get on with it. 202 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,070 I know! I know. 203 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,510 Celia does seem to have quite... 204 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:28,950 complex relationships with people, I've noticed. 205 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,400 I'll get to t'bottom of it. Right. Good luck. 206 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,350 Oh, text Harry. 207 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,400 Oh, aye. 208 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,160 It's nice to see you. 209 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,760 Eh! Are you all right, love? 210 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,200 Me? Yeah! God, yeah! 211 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,320 Ta'ra! Ta'ra! 212 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,870 Be honest. Well, it's, eh... 213 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,670 I think you're crackers. You haven't actually sold your house? 214 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,710 No, but that's plan. It's up for sale. 215 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,190 What, and you're going to live on it, permanently? Through the winter? 216 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,510 It's grand and warm. There's going to be a wood-burning stove, 217 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:22,510 telly, DVD, drinks cabinet. satellite dish. 218 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,200 Come and have a look. No! 219 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:31,440 Gordon said we can take it for a spin down Cut. Yeah, come on. Ooh, don't! 220 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,790 It were after Maurice died. You have to seize the day. 221 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,030 It's something I've always fancied, as far back as ever I can remember. 222 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,430 How do you go on opening locks on your own? 223 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,190 Piece of piss, what you on about? Hey, ladies present. 224 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,910 Oh, I've heard worse. I meant baby. 225 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,190 He means when you get even older, you dozy old sod. 226 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,990 How're you going to open locks when you're juggling with a Zimmer frame? 227 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,160 Nay, I'll shoot me sen before I get to that stage! 228 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,910 He'll sell his house, live on it for two or three weeks and then he'll get fed up. 229 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,590 He misses Maurice. Aw. 230 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,190 Is it just three of us for supper? Yeah. 231 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,590 Where have Raff and Ellie taken Calamity, then? Oh, just... 232 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:24,070 Robbie - Robbie's... He's got this new girlfriend. Cheryl. 233 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,230 So - he works with her. She's a copper. 234 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,110 She's blonde, gorgeous, 235 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,830 15 years younger than him, divorced. 236 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,800 Is he making a point? Yeah. 237 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,110 Of course he is. He's always hated her up to now. 238 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,590 Gone on about how annoying and dippy she is. So, yeah. 239 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:49,990 Men, transparent. What can you do? Present company excepted, obviously. 240 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:56,190 Except Raff says she's moving in with him. Apparently. 241 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,720 John's back with Judith. 242 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,150 I'm really not interested in John, Celia. 243 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,870 Thanks. Really, really not. 244 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,120 Oh, no, I was just saying. 245 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,840 I mean, God knows why. 246 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,070 I honestly don't think they can stand each other. 247 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,430 It's just a habit. A bad habit. 248 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,350 How's Caroline? 249 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,990 She's all right. 250 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,630 Oh, yeah! 251 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,270 Celia...tell me about your sister! 252 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,310 I didn't know you had a sister. 253 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,560 Oh... 254 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,310 Shame the wedding plans have got bogged down cos of her. 255 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:36,550 Oh, it's not cos of our Muriel, it's cos of Ted, isn't it? 256 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,630 About them not being able to make their minds up 257 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,070 when they're coming over 258 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,030 and where they're all going to stay, and... 259 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,550 No. No, I don't think so. 260 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,240 Ted's waiting for you to fix a date so they can all book their flights. 261 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,790 Oh. 262 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,310 Well, I got the impression... 263 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,070 No, no, there's no problem there. Is there? Dad? 264 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:58,470 Er...well, it'll be tricky for 'em co-ordinating everything, 265 00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,870 but, erm...no. 266 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,950 No, I don't think the problem is wi' our Ted, really. 267 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,590 Anyway, that's their problem. 268 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,150 You set a date, they turn up, if they can. 269 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,430 I don't think they expect you to organise it around them. 270 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,070 They don't. They absolutely don't. 271 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,440 They're not like that. 272 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,150 Have you heard from Will? 273 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,000 Yeah, he's fine. I got a text. 274 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,320 Can I go and live with my dad? 275 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,800 Why do you want to do that? 276 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,560 He's not...boring. 277 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,910 Sorry. 278 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,000 I really don't think that's a good idea. 279 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,160 I'm sorry if you think I'm... 280 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,470 ..not very exciting, but I've seen Judith's flat. 281 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,870 You wouldn't want to live there, 282 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,270 you wouldn't want to spend more than five minutes there. 283 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,880 PHONE RINGS 284 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,990 Hello? Caroline? It's Gillian. 285 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,910 'Oh, hello.' 286 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,150 How are you? 287 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,990 Fine! Fine. 288 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,590 Good. 289 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,990 'Are you?' Yeah! Yeah. 290 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,670 I was ringing you...about the wedding. 291 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,310 I'm just concerned. 292 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:52,070 I thought you might be able to throw a bit of light on something. OK. 293 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,790 It all seems to have got bogged down, somehow. 294 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,470 And...I think it's making me dad a bit miserable. 295 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:03,070 Oh! I know. is it not to do with...um...uh, Ted, his brother? 296 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,270 No. No, it isn't. 297 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,600 'That's what my mum said.' 298 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,110 She's using that as an excuse. 299 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,630 I did wonder. 300 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,830 I think it's to do with her sister. Muriel? 301 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,950 Right. Right. 302 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,510 Ted's fine, honestly. 303 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,710 He's really easygoing, he just wants to fit in. 304 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,310 Yeah - it's... 305 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,670 That wouldn't surprise me, Muriel. 306 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,430 Is she...difficult? 307 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,110 Auntie Muriel? No! God, no. She's... 308 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:34,230 They're just chalk and cheese, that's all. 'OK.' 309 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,110 Only if we could get to t'bottom of whether she's coming or not, 310 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,950 they could move forward with things, that's all. 311 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,270 Oh, she'll be coming. I don't think she wouldn't come. 312 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,830 Well, pinning it down, then, so they can set a date. 313 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,150 Could you ring her? Muriel? Yeah, sure. 314 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,470 Find out what stage they're at in their delicate negotiations, 315 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,030 cos I've got Ted and his lot Skyping every five minutes 316 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,190 'wanting to know when they can book their flights. 317 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,550 'Sooner they can book, cheaper it'll be.' 318 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,670 Course. Of course. OK. Leave it with me. 319 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,110 It's just...they're just...it's... 320 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,110 Complicated. 321 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,240 Yeah. Yeah. 322 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,190 Oh, hell! Orange again. 323 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,230 I hate sport and nature. 324 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,870 No, it's sport and leisure. 325 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,230 No, that's green. 326 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,350 No, that's science and nature. 327 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:25,360 Is it? Yeah. Oh, OK. 328 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,230 Sherlock Holmes. The Beatles. Shakespeare. 329 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,310 Sorry? The answer. 330 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,310 But I haven't asked t'question yet. 331 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,230 No, I know, but it will be one of them. 332 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,670 It always is, the answer. 333 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,960 Or Manchester United. 334 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,950 I've been thinking. Oh, aye? What with? 335 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,550 Oh, you're so funny(!) 336 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:50,200 Why don't I... Why don't me and Caroline organise the wedding? 337 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,310 Really? Yeah. 338 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,070 Only you seem to have got stuck 339 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,550 and I can't believe you WANT to be stuck. So... 340 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,990 Well, I... 341 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,870 We'd run everything past you. We wouldn't do anything you'd hate. 342 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,990 Have you spoken to her? Just now, just this second. 343 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,310 Oh. Well... 344 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,510 Why don't we just check out some venues for you, at least? 345 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,470 We'll suss a few out and then you choose. 346 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,710 And we'll compile an invite list 347 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,640 and then you can...cross anyone out that you don't really want. 348 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,910 Well...I don't know. 349 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,230 I suppose so, if you wanted to. 350 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,910 We would love to. I would love to. 351 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,230 PHONE RINGS 352 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,350 Oh, who's this? 353 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,680 Muriel! 354 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,270 Hello! 355 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,320 PHONE RINGS 356 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,080 Hello? I've just put my foot right in it! 357 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,510 Have you? Why? 358 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,590 She didn't know - Muriel didn't even know. 359 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,070 My mother hadn't even told her! 360 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,590 Wow. Wow. That's... 361 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,630 Alan Buttershaw! 362 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,470 That's...it's so perfect! It's wonderful. 363 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,550 Gosh, you must be so happy. 364 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,470 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I am. 365 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,190 So when is it? The wedding? 366 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,030 Well, we've - we've... 367 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,990 Um...how did you know? 368 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,310 Caroline. Caroline just rang, just now. 369 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,510 I am so deep in the doghouse, 370 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,270 it won't ever be worth trying to get out. 371 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,310 It's not your fault. 372 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:12,350 Our Caroline? 373 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,670 You don't know what it's like. Caroline, you didn't know. 374 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,430 Oh, damn! She's spoilt the surprise! 375 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,550 I was thinking of popping down this...this very weekend, 376 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,550 this coming weekend, to tell you. 377 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,950 Both of us, me and Alan. 378 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,000 How's she taking it? 379 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,920 She's smiling, she's happy. 380 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,150 She's laughing! 381 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,680 Yeah, well that's just... 382 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,470 You wait till she comes off the phone. 383 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,710 It'll be Armageddon. 384 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,430 The forces of Gog and Magog 385 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,630 will gather from the four corners of the earth... 386 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,350 You're losing me, Caroline. Yeah, well, good luck. 387 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,350 I've offered to organise the wedding for them. 388 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,760 And I said you'd help me. 389 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,910 Hello? 390 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,830 'Go on! 391 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,550 'Come on, we'll have a laugh.' 392 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,670 I could use a laugh, couldn't you? 393 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,160 I'm... 394 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,520 ..bloody well fed-up. 395 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,550 'I have been for months.' 396 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,120 Yeah. Yeah... 397 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,310 Yeah, all right. 398 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,110 Oh, wonderful! That'd be lovely. 399 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,190 So this coming weekend? 400 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,830 How are you fixed this coming weekend? 401 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,670 Yes, well, if that was the plan, if that fits in with you and Alan, 402 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,230 it's absolutely fine with me. 403 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,710 You'll be thinking I wasn't going to tell you. 404 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,030 'No! No.' 405 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,350 And nothing could be further from the truth. 406 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,950 No, you wanted to surprise me - that's nice! 407 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,190 Yeah... 408 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,550 Well, give Alan my love. 409 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,870 I will. 410 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,870 Oh, Caroline was telling me her and John are getting divorced. 411 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,590 Oh - what else did she tell you? 412 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,070 Nothing, she didn't have time. 413 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,710 I wanted to ring you to say congratulations. 414 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,470 You'll have to fill me in when I see you. 415 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,630 Yeah. 416 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,310 OK, then. Aw! Bye-bye. 417 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,400 Bye, bye. Bye-bye! 418 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,160 Who were that? 419 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,840 Muriel - our Muriel. 420 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,750 Nice. 421 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,160 Yeah. 422 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,280 Whose roll is it? 423 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,550 I don't know what Caroline was thinking of, 424 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,950 ringing our Muriel. 425 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,670 Well, she'd have assumed - and she wasn't alone - 426 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,070 that you'd spoken to Muriel any number of weeks ago. 427 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,830 Well, I never said I had. 428 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,510 If you don't want her there, we won't invite her. 429 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,590 What're you smiling at? You. 430 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,510 Whenever have I said I didn't want her there? 431 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,910 It's an impression you've given. 432 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,200 I don't know how. 433 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,110 She's always to be interfering. Who? 434 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:52,550 Caroline - always has to be organising everybody. 435 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,950 Of course I want my sister at my wedding! 436 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,990 Good! Good. 437 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,670 I don't know why you've got that expression on your face. 438 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,440 She's all right, our Muriel. 439 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,520 In small doses. 440 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,670 And if Gillian told you to jump off a cliff, 441 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,310 what would your response to that be? 442 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,150 Mum, I've explained what happened. I won't go through it again, 443 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,550 because you are choosing not to hear what's being said. 444 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,710 What YOU have to decide - when you're calmer - 445 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,990 is whether you want Muriel there on the day or not, 446 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,150 because it's precisely no skin off my nose. 447 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,910 It's your wedding, your big day. 448 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,150 No-one else minds what you do as long as you're happy. 449 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,590 KNOCK ON THE DOOR 450 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,000 That'll be John. 451 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,000 Lawrence? 452 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,600 I, erm... 453 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,040 Sorry. Could...? 454 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,230 This isn't your problem, clearly. 455 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,720 But just...just so you're aware... 456 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,160 Judith's pregnant. 457 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,200 Jud...? 458 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,760 How? 459 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,640 I mean, how...? How can...? Eight or nine weeks. 460 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,200 Is it yours? She...yes. She's not slept with anyone else. 461 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,910 So I dunno, I... Has she been to see a doctor? 462 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,110 Yes, just this week. And? 463 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:29,400 It's definitely not...something else? 464 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:31,760 Such as? 465 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,150 Does she want it? 466 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,400 I...it's...all very... 467 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,350 And the reason...the reason I'm telling you this 468 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:45,750 is that things might get a bit fraught round there, 469 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,440 given that it's all just reared its... 470 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:51,760 So... 471 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,750 ..as much as I'm happy to have Lawrence for the weekend normally, 472 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,350 if you wanted to take him with you instead, 473 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,470 to Halifax, just this weekend, 474 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,000 I would completely understand that that might be the better option. 475 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,430 Not for you, obviously. But for him. 476 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:09,880 Popsi-Cola! 477 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,600 You're going to have to come with me. What? 478 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,360 To Gillian's. Why? 479 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,390 Because it's not a great weekend for us to do this, 480 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,710 as things have panned out... I'm not staying here. 481 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,030 No, we're going to Gillian's. I'm not going to stupid Gillian's! 482 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,800 I'm going to yours with you. 483 00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:31,560 It's...Lawrence... 484 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,800 Hates me, I'm boring. No, you're not. Apparently. 485 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,600 Lawrence? You can't...! 486 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,120 You'll be on your mobile? 487 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,390 Hello! Hi. 488 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,270 Caroline. Robbie. 489 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,350 They're off to York Races for t'day. 490 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,470 Hello! Awww...! 491 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,510 I'm Cheryl! How do you do? I'm Robbie's better half! 492 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,720 Other half - what am I like?! Don't tell me! 493 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:34,680 Ain't it a shame about t'weather? 494 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,870 I like your jacket - 495 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,230 I love the pattern, it's really classy. 496 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,400 Bye, then! 497 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,470 I don't know how late we'll be. No problem. 498 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,630 Loving you and leaving you. 499 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,910 Bye! Have a nice time! 500 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,470 That's the baby. That's Ellie. 501 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,390 Oh, my God! Oh! 502 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,920 You're a grandmother. Hm... 503 00:27:58,360 --> 00:27:59,760 She's annoying. 504 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,470 Bloody York Races. They've money to burn. 505 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,150 He's got homework. She's got homework. 506 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,630 I thought - weren't you and Robbie...? 507 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,400 No. Hell, no. That went tits-up months ago. 508 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,310 Oh, I'm sorry. 509 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,790 Right, Batman. What's the plan? 510 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,310 Lunch. Somewhere nice. 511 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,670 To be honest...I'm a bit skint this week. 512 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,990 Well, I'm not. I'm...I'm loaded. 513 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,560 I can't have you paying for me. Yes, you can! Get your stuff. 514 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,830 Do I need to get dressed up? 515 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,040 Only if you want to. 516 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,470 Where we going? It's a surprise. 517 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,760 Whose car we going in? I don't care! 518 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,230 I came here with Kate, three months ago. 519 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,990 It was horrendous, it was when we fell out. 520 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,550 It struck me as being a nice place for a wedding. 521 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,750 I'm sorry you fell out. 522 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,790 Tell me about Muriel and your mum. What's all that about, then? 523 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,430 It's a long story. 524 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,030 Well, it's an old story. 525 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,310 And it may be me reading too much into things. 526 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,270 I mean, she's never actually said anything. 527 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,800 You don't have to tell me, honestly. I'm only being nosey. 528 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,760 My mum, after they moved to Sheffield... 529 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,270 ..after - presumably - she'd given up on your dad 530 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,480 ever getting in touch... 531 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,200 ..went out with this lad, Frank. 532 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,550 It was serious, apparently. 533 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,120 But then the upshot was... 534 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,310 ..he ended up marrying Muriel. 535 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,270 No. No way! 536 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,630 Of course, my mum's version is that she dumped him, 537 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,560 and THEN he took up with their Muriel. But... 538 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,510 ..why would she be so funny about Muriel so many years on? 539 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:19,950 God. 540 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,310 All I know is...they'd had a spat about something, 541 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,560 Muriel and my mum. 542 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,230 This is - God - years ago, just after me and John got married. 543 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,310 And she was upset - Muriel was - 544 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,150 so I popped round to see her, 545 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,040 to see if I could pour oil on...whatever. 546 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,950 And she said, "What it is is, 547 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,680 "she's never really forgiven me about Frank". 548 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,150 And stupidly, I didn't say, "What do you mean?" 549 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,160 I think I just left. 550 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,110 Where is Frank? 551 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,840 Dead. Years ago. 552 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,270 Are you the two ladies enquiring about wedding facilities? Yes! 553 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,830 Would you like to have a look at the brochures, over lunch? 554 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,160 And then perhaps I can show you around? Thank you. 555 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:22,480 Um... 556 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,790 I know you wouldn't mention it, but just so you know... 557 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,550 Muriel never knew about me and Kenneth. 558 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,310 About all the ups and downs we had 559 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,910 after I found out he'd been mucking about behind my back. 560 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,750 OK. Like I say, I know you wouldn't, but... 561 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,750 Not the sort of sister you could confide in, then, 562 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,070 when it came to the crunch? 563 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,310 No. No...not our Muriel. 564 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,200 Well, who did you confide in? 565 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,440 Well, no-one. 566 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,870 Nobody. I didn't want folk knowing. 567 00:31:54,880 --> 00:32:00,790 I nearly told my mother, once, when I was at a particularly low ebb. 568 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,950 But...it would have broken her heart. 569 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,710 And she'd have killed him. She would have! 570 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,760 So, no. I dealt with it on my own. 571 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,950 Then I told Caroline, eventually, 572 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,040 when she was old enough to understand. 573 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,110 And then...yeah. 574 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,280 You're the only other person I ever told. 575 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,910 I've got a table booked for this evening for seven. 576 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,150 It's just down here, 577 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,190 we've an Italian restaurant just two streets away. 578 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,750 It's very nice, it's very good, we're very lucky. 579 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,110 Do you like Italian, Alan? 580 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,390 Oh, I can eat anything! 581 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,790 And this afternoon, 582 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,470 Martin and Joanne said they'd pop in with the girls. 583 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,230 How long is it since you've seen the girls, Celia? 584 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,750 They've shot up! 585 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,630 Martin's my eldest. 586 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,230 Laura's just started the second year of her A-levels, 587 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,150 she's doing very well. 588 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,190 William's gone to Oxford. How's he getting on? 589 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,070 Fine, as far as we know. 590 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,790 He's only been there a week... Do you have grandchildren, Alan? 591 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,710 Just the one. Raphael. Raff. 592 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,950 He's just started the second year of his A-levels as well, 593 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,350 same as your...? Laura. Laura. 594 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,310 You must be so proud of him, William. 595 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,710 Well, I always think pride comes before a fall, so... 596 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,830 Of course she's proud of him. 597 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,150 I'm proud of him, he's not even my lad! 598 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,470 Aw! What does your daughter do, Alan? 599 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,990 She farms. She's a farmer. She farms sheep. 600 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,510 Oh! Of all the things you might've said, and I'd been guessing, 601 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,230 that would not have been one of them! 602 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,990 Is it a special variety, breed? 603 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,030 No, no - just your bog-standard Swaledales. 604 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,670 Fascinating. It can be. 605 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,080 Lambing! Oh, yes! 606 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:53,030 Tell me about Caroline. What about her? Her and John. 607 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,390 Oh, well. 608 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,630 He, er...started messing about with somebody else. 609 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,590 No...no! He's an idiot. 610 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,270 John? Well, yeah. 611 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,470 I am sorry. 612 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,950 It was about a year ago. 18 months. 613 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,590 Course, he came crawling back - when was it? 614 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,070 Three or four months since. 615 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,310 Realising what a fool he'd been. But... But she'd moved on. 616 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,790 Well, she realised she didn't need him any more. 617 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,310 Good for her. I think so. Good for her. 618 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,400 Absolutely. Absolutely. 619 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,990 Well, I'm going to make another pot of tea, Alan, if...? 620 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,950 Smashing, yes. Thank you. 621 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,360 We should go into the garden. It's such a lovely day! 622 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,390 Oh, I don't know how much more of this I can stand. 623 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,750 What? 624 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,470 Who does she think she is? 625 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,910 POSH ACCENT: "And what do you do, you little person?" 626 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,990 She seems right enough. 627 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,950 Why do folk ask a question, 628 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,670 and then interrupt as soon as you embark on an answer? 629 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,550 She's just thrilled to see you, she's just... 630 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,430 "Our Martin, our Laura." 631 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,720 She wants to put a sock in it, she never stops. 632 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,920 Do not tell her about Caroline. 633 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,560 Instead of tea, can I tempt anyone to a gin and tonic? 634 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,630 She'd love this. So would he. 635 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,750 Can we talk about costs? Packages, deals, numbers? 636 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,790 Of course! Can I offer you ladies a glass of champagne? 637 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:20,070 Um...yes. Thank you. Do you want to join me in The Waterhouse Bar, 638 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,160 when you're ready? 639 00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:26,510 If I drink too much, can you drive my Land Rover? 640 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,120 What if I drink too much? 641 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,120 We'll be up shit creek. 642 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,440 WAR FILM BLARES 643 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,070 I'm going out. 644 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,510 Is this too loud? 645 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,710 No! No. It's me. It's fine. We can turn it down. 646 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:59,310 It's fine. It's just...I can't concentrate. 647 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,670 Where are you going? Just for a walk. 648 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,830 Shall we all go? No. We can all go. 649 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,720 I just...no. No, you... 650 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:12,030 Perhaps you could get something for supper...while you're out. 651 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,070 Pizzas or...? Yeah. 652 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,550 How long will you be? 653 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,830 I don't know, does it matter? 654 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,080 Have you got your mobile? 655 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,830 Isn't she too old to be pregnant? 656 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:31,270 Well...no. 657 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,230 Is she all right? 658 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,160 I... It's... 659 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,590 Why did you ask her if she'd got her mobile? 660 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,350 Oh, she can't... 661 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,160 She doesn't... She sometimes... What? 662 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,360 I'll just follow her. 663 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,710 I'll just make sure she doesn't... 664 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,870 She shouldn't really be drinking, you see. Right. 665 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,760 Shan't be long. Famous last words. 666 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,110 Harry Wallace! Good Lord. He once asked me out. 667 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,070 Oh, Harry asked everyone out. 668 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,030 Oh, I'm sorry, not that... No, no, I know he did! 669 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,950 I didn't say yes! 670 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,910 Did he ever ask you out, Celia? 671 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,990 He wouldn't dare. 672 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,560 We're related now, me and Harry. How? 673 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,750 Oh, well - did you not...tell Muriel...? 674 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,040 Er, no. I hadn't. 675 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,670 Well, I've got a great-grandchild. Emily. Emily Jane. 676 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,950 His - Harry's - granddaughter and my grandson, Raff. 677 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,150 They've... 678 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,950 I thought...did you not say he was still doing his A-levels? 679 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:48,190 Yes! They're very young. They're both still at school? 680 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,510 Mm. Oh. Well...it happens. 681 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,990 They're very fond of each other. Of course. And they're not daft. 682 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,070 Well...they were, obviously, or it wouldn't have happened, but... 683 00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,630 So they've risen to the occasion. 684 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,710 Yes! Yes, they seem to be doing. 685 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,000 Gosh. 686 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,630 Do you think Caroline'll ever get married again, Celia? 687 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,310 Is there anyone? 688 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,030 Well, she's very attractive... 689 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,390 I doubt it. I think she's seen the light. 690 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,550 Seen the light? As regards men. 691 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:25,630 I think she's worked out what shallow-minded half-wits they are. 692 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,910 Oh, not you! 693 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,270 Not you, never you. 694 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,160 Aw, so wonderful. It's so perfect. 695 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,030 What a shame it didn't happen all those years ago. 696 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,760 Yeah. Yeah. 697 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,840 In oh-so many ways. 698 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,590 Although we wouldn't have had our Caroline and our Gillian. 699 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,160 PHONE RINGS 700 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,670 Hello, love! (It's Caroline.) 701 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,990 Mum, this place we're visiting is perfect. 702 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,270 I think you'll love it - there are various options, 703 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,390 it depends how far you want to push the boat out, 704 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,390 but honestly, I think you'll be charmed. 705 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,310 But the point is the only day they've got free 706 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,510 this side of Christmas, and it's a way off, 707 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,550 is Tuesday the 24th of December, so... 708 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,550 But that...that's Christmas Eve! 709 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,870 'I know it's Christmas Eve!' 710 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,270 So we need to make a decision, because it'll probably go, 711 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,600 they're very popular. 712 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,310 (I think they think we're getting married.) 713 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,830 Can you e-mail me some pictures, to Muriel's address, 714 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,150 so we can have a look? 715 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:29,200 Just hang on, Mum. 716 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,150 W-Why would they think that? 717 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,510 I'm guessing that they remember you bringing Kate here, 718 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:42,710 and they think that I'm just another one of your women. 719 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:44,950 No! 'Hello?' 720 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,520 Are you there? Caroline? 721 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:51,950 Hello? Sorry. 722 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,430 Can you e-mail me some pictures? 723 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,750 Yeah, I can. 724 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,670 I've...got Muriel's e-mail address on my phone. 725 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,030 STIFLED LAUGHTER 726 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,270 What are you laughing at? 727 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,200 Nothing. We've just had some champagne, that's all. 728 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,590 Oh, don't do that! Why not? It's frightening. Oh, thanks. 729 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,590 My pelvic floor isn't what it was. 730 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,910 I'm going to finish wi' you if you're not careful. 731 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,480 I can't hear what you're saying. 732 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:21,350 I'm going to send you some photos and a list of costs, Mum. 'OK.' 733 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:22,990 Are you having a nice time? 734 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,790 No. 735 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,150 I'm sorry I rang her, I'm sorry I put my foot in it. 736 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,550 It's fine, it's forgotten. You didn't know. 737 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,510 I love you. 738 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,790 Aww! 739 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,830 'I love you.' Bye. 740 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,550 Bye. 741 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,840 Bye-bye. 742 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:47,390 HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER 743 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,840 How are we doing, ladies? 744 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,350 That's fantastic. 745 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,230 Thank you very much, we will. 746 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:14,880 Bye. Bye. Bye-bye. 747 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,670 Have they got it? Yeah. 748 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,910 "Inebriated headmistress leaves phone in hotel bar." 749 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,470 "Drunken pillock leaves phone in hotel bar." 750 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,600 That's not good copy, that's just normal. 60. 751 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,120 Quick, open up, I need the loo. 752 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,480 Oh, I never lock up. Nowt worth stealing. 753 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,750 VOICEMAIL: 'Hello. This is Caroline. 754 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,200 'Leave a message and I'll get back to you as quickly as I can. 755 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,590 Mum? Dad went out. Ages ago. 756 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,910 I can't get hold of him. 757 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,680 Can you come and get me? 758 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,480 Where are you? Why aren't you answering? 759 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,960 I'm sorry I said you were boring. 760 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,520 Mum? 761 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:22,720 Mum? 762 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,590 Tea. Mm. 763 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,510 You definitely all right for driving me back 764 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:33,870 to pick up the Landy tomorrow? 765 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,030 Well, yeah, I've got to get my phone, haven't I? 766 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,160 Oh. 767 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,320 What happened? 768 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,120 With Kate? 769 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:59,350 I booked two separate rooms for a romantic weekend. 770 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,920 You knob. 771 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,120 Don't go on at me. 772 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:11,750 What time will thingy and whats-it be back from...wherever-it-was 773 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,000 with little doo-dah? 774 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:18,880 Raff. Ellie. York. Calamity. 775 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:22,720 I've no idea. 776 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,070 Will you have room for me? 777 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,280 We've always got room for you. 778 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:37,800 I blew it with Kate. 779 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,120 I really blew it. 780 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,480 I only realise now how lovely it was. 781 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,400 How precious. 782 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,080 And I've tried to apologise, but she won't listen. 783 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,000 I think she's decided that I'm bad for her. 784 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,240 And there's nothing I can do or say. 785 00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,800 I'm in this box now, with "bad" written on it. 786 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,120 Well, not "bad." Just... 787 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:23,920 "Arrogant." 788 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,000 "Inept." 789 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:30,560 "Selfish." 790 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,880 "Repressed." 791 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,080 Just, emotionally...crippled. 792 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,560 You all right? 793 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:53,720 What about you and Robbie? 794 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,080 Oh - me and Robbie. 795 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,160 That's a different sort of thing altogether. 796 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:06,680 Why? 797 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,840 Do you fancy a drop of brandy in your tea? 798 00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:23,840 Are you? 799 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,910 Oh, I hope we've made the right decision. 800 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,150 I think it looks spot-on. 801 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,510 One thing I will say for Caroline - she has good taste. 802 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,830 Well, we're committed now, they've paid the deposit. 803 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,680 Although she sounded a bit pissed when I spoke to her. 804 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,870 Is this...Kenneth? Yeah. 805 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:54,200 That's him. 806 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:56,480 Hm... 807 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,590 She seems very fond of you, Muriel. 808 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,270 Considering... 809 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:03,790 Considering what? 810 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,430 Well, that...you don't seem very fond of her. 811 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,840 Oh...she's right enough. 812 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,200 It's... What? 813 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,350 Oh...she's always has to be the centre of attention. 814 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:24,990 She can't just come to a party, Muriel - she has to BE the party. 815 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,710 Well, some people are needy that way, aren't they? 816 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,750 Needy? Is that what it is? 817 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,750 Scared of being left out. Scared of being overlooked. 818 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:38,840 So they push their way to the front, with their sharp elbows. 819 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,350 Some people might find that attractive, 820 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,840 but I'm damned certain I don't. 821 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,510 Is that what you're bothered about? 822 00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,950 If she came to t'wedding, 823 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,200 she'd make you feel like it were her big day, rather than yours? 824 00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,160 Something like that, yes. 825 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,520 She's very plain, you know. 826 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,000 Compared to you. 827 00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,830 And she hasn't made me laugh all day. Not once. 828 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:16,070 I think the day we get married, you and me together, 829 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,320 we'll eclipse everyone else entirely - don't you? 830 00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,320 Was that her husband? 831 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:28,280 Yeah. Frank. That's Frank. 832 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:31,960 He's dead. 833 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:40,800 So here's the thing. 834 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:43,760 This is the thing. 835 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,560 Me and Robbie. 836 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:56,560 I am - I've always been - very, very, very fond of him. 837 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,070 I should've stuck with him. 838 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,320 Robbie. 839 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,270 But Eddie... 840 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:10,840 SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY 841 00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:13,680 He was... 842 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,800 ..just one of those men who... 843 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,080 Oh, God. 844 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,590 When I was with him, nothing else mattered. Nothing. 845 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,950 You could've dropped a helium bomb on Halifax 846 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:30,600 and I wouldn't have noticed. 847 00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:33,600 It was hydrogen. 848 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,440 I shouldn't have done that to Robbie. 849 00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,720 But I couldn't help it. 850 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,590 I couldn't. 851 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,630 But you'd got over that, surely, before - 852 00:48:55,640 --> 00:49:00,310 you and Robbie, when you started going out with each other again... 853 00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,640 Mm, yeah. We did. 854 00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:04,950 Wow. 855 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,280 But... 856 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,950 It's not going to last with that Cheryl, is it? 857 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:12,310 He'll soon get to the end of her. 858 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:15,270 He's obviously only bothering... Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. 859 00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:18,070 I know that. I know that. 860 00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,400 Sorry. 861 00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:24,000 Although Raff reckons she's moving in with him. 862 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,390 Am I missing the point? 863 00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,400 No. No. No. 864 00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,280 I... 865 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:44,200 ..don't think...ever... 866 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,720 ..me and Robbie could be a good idea. 867 00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,240 Even though, all things being equal, we could've been. 868 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,270 Why? 869 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:04,320 We could've been really nice together. 870 00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,920 Why do you think you can't be? 871 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:17,400 I did the...shittiest thing to him. 872 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,840 I never told anyone this, Caroline. 873 00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:31,190 I'm...very drunk. So am I. 874 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,310 Are you? Yeah. Really? Yeah. 875 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,040 As drunk as me? I don't know, I'm pretty drunk. 876 00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,110 Don't tell me something you're going to regret. 877 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,680 I want to tell you. OK. 878 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,880 I... 879 00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:55,920 I murdered him. 880 00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:00,560 Eddie. 881 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,750 The only proper family Robbie ever had. 882 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,360 And...fuck! 883 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,240 I murdered him. 884 00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,390 You don't know what you're talking about, you never did! 885 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,990 It's all so easy, isn't it? 886 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:35,070 It's all so cut and dried and black and white, 887 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,190 that's why you've been so successful all your life! 888 00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:41,950 Because you've got all the bloody answers to bloody everything! 889 00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:43,190 Lawrence? 890 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:47,270 "Just get rid of it, Judith, you're killing it, anyway." 891 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,870 Can you hear what you sound like? 892 00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,230 Can you hear how nasty it is? 893 00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:55,790 Lawrence? You have no... Men don't! 894 00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:59,350 Women create, men destroy. Fact. 895 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:03,750 Women create life, men shoot people. 896 00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:07,150 Name me one war started by a woman. 897 00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,350 The Falklands. 898 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,310 Yeah! Exactly! That's the one. 899 00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:11,550 Where's Lawrence? 900 00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:15,150 Out of how many? Since time began? 901 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,110 One war. Where is Lawrence? 902 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:20,950 And don't say the Trojan War, because that's bollocks. 903 00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:25,070 Pollux. Pollux and Castor, they started it. 904 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,830 They invaded...Athens. 905 00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,030 She was - Helen was just an excuse to get the guns out. 906 00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,510 Boadicea. 907 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,830 Joan of Arc, Elizabeth I, 908 00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:40,550 Cleopatra, Queen Anne, Golda Meir, 909 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,350 Indira Ghandi, Catherine the Great. 910 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,510 Queen Isabella of Spain - she was a bitch. 911 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,550 Tzu-Hsi... 912 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,710 You made that last one up. 913 00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:52,630 You don't know what you're talking about! Let's face it. 914 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,200 Gun-boat diplomacy! Who started that? 915 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,870 Queen Victoria! 916 00:52:57,880 --> 00:52:59,520 Where is Lawrence? 917 00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:05,880 He knocked me about. 918 00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:09,960 All the time. 919 00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,200 He knocked three of my back teeth out. 920 00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:20,960 Be careful not to do it at the front. 921 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,040 Where people can see. 922 00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:29,360 Once...he pinned me down... 923 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,280 ..and put a cigarette out. 924 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,080 On my neck. 925 00:53:52,240 --> 00:53:55,360 I've...shed blood... 926 00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,720 ..in every room in this house. 927 00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,200 There were other humiliations. 928 00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:18,800 I won't bore you with them. 929 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,160 So... 930 00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:33,440 I... 931 00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:41,070 The police had me in for...days. 932 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,400 Hours, over several days. 933 00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:48,080 And me dad. 934 00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:55,080 I told him same tale I told them. 935 00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,520 That I'd found him with his head in the log splitter. 936 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,470 He had an inkling there was more to it than that, 937 00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:07,640 me dad did. 938 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,870 So I told him I'd put him out of his misery 939 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,080 after a botched suicide effort. 940 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,830 He bought that. 941 00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,360 I think - I think he bought that. 942 00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,520 Then he made me ring the police. 943 00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,160 Why are you telling me this? 944 00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,440 I don't know. 945 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:54,960 Because... 946 00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,040 ..that's why it could never work. 947 00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:00,200 Me and Robbie. 948 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:05,630 Even he - after the coroner's report - 949 00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:06,880 had to accept... 950 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:16,240 But I did it. 951 00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,750 His brother, only proper family he's ever had, 952 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,360 and I... 953 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:33,840 ..did it. 954 00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:39,160 So that's why. 955 00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:42,600 That's why. 956 00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,040 But other than that... 957 00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,200 I don't know why I've told you, Caroline. 958 00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,310 Oh... 959 00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,320 SHE RETCHES 960 00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,750 I need to know if you're going to go to the police. 961 00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,390 Do you fancy a stag night, Alan? 962 00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:57,790 Like in a lap dancing club? 963 00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:01,150 I decided it was worth, one more time, saying I'm sorry. 964 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:05,590 My only regret is that we didn't get that bungalow at Ripponden Bank. 965 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,670 It were my fault we didn't get it. 966 00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,270 Kate's driven herself into hospital. She's bleeding. 967 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:15,070 I think you and our Gillian should get back together. 968 00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,750 Did you ever know how miserable I was with Kenneth? No. 969 00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,910 Hi? We're ready. They're ready. 970 00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:21,950 Have a nice Christmas. 971 00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,400 Yeah, how likely is that?